If you're ill and got a chill

I think I'm coming down with something. It's been quite a while since I've been feeling sick--I remember why I dislike it so much. It's that "can't stay cool, can't stay warm, scratchy throat, sore eyes, sore body, sleepy not sleepy" feeling. I hate it. Thank goodness the weekend is here.

Tonight was my final in my Speech class. I was really interested in seeing how I did on my last speech. It's just NOW occurred to me that I haven't talked much about this class while I've been taking it..so let me now:

Comm 2200 is part of the general education requirements at school now. I think it used to be that you could take a foreign language instead, which is kinda silly, however if given the choice before, I'd have probably chosen Spanish or something. Anyway, we've given three speeches this semester. My first was on how to best help someone in a domestic violence situation, second was on Buddhism and third, my persuasive speech, was on why it was so important to be an organ donor or to at least make an informed decision. I chose to use different entries from here in my speech so that I could get my classmates in the right frame of mind--mine while we were waiting on my fathers transplant--I wanted them to understand how it just takes over your entire life.

So I gave my speech and I feel like I did a great job. I felt like the class was really listening, at times on the edge of their seats. You just don't understand how hard it was for me to get up in front of a group of strangers basically and pour my feelings out for them. However, it was wonderful. It proved to me that I can talk about how I felt then and what it was like without crying about it. That feels so very good indeed. I think there is an internal shift in me that is moving me past all that we went through last year and finally breathing that proverbial sigh of relief knowing that it's ok now, we made it, we're done.

At any rate, we had our final tonight. Turned out that we had a speech to give and I was totally unprepared for it! I'd been checking back for info all week, never knowing she'd changed the front page of the site and it had all the info on it. So I had to do something insanely impromptu and I thought it sucked. She said it was fine. So, she gave me back my speech and I walked out to the hall to see my grade as I always do......I did better than I had on all my other speech's, which was awesome, but the grade was not the awesome part....what was awesome was the note on the back of the grading sheet to me..

"Allison,

This speech was really powerful & moving and I applaud your courage and strength in using and showing your experience and emotion with this subject--your improvement has been steady and strong--good job!

It's been a pleasure to have you in class--your concern and support & humor have meant more than you know. Thank you! Keep in touch--lml"

This meant more to me than the grade. You see, there was a time in the semester when I thought something was going on with her, something seemed off and I wasn't sure what it was. So, taking a big leap (not knowing if it was "right" or not), I emailed her to make sure she was ok. She thanked me for my concern and said she was fine. The next class night, she broke down and after everyone left began to cry. There were a lot of things going on with her outside of school and within school and she felt like she'd hit a wall of sorts, just couldn't teach that night. I saw her crying and asked her if she would be ok, if she needed to talk. We ( a couple of students and I) stayed and chatted with her for a bit...she never revealed too much, but just enough for anyone who cared to know that something wasn't right.

Having said that, I know I'll never be a powerful public speaker--I get too nervous, I don't like having to prove my point nor convince others of the way I feel about any given topic, it's just enough for me to know how I feel. However, it's very important to me to be able to listen, to be able to have enough smarts about me to be able to pick up on something being wrong, something being too much or not enough in a person that they are upset by it and listen to them and want them to talk about it and be comfortable talking to me about it. I think I did that--and that is a good enough grade for me any day.